I get by with a little help from my friends

Jump to Comments

I’m pretty sure I blogged about this once before, in my “early” blogging days, but over the last year, I’ve learned just how vital a good community is!

Despite my extroverted manner, I am actually a bit shy (it’s more a worry that people won’t like me because I’m not smart or hip enough and when I do get talking, there’s definitely a foot in the mouth factor), and making truly good friends has been difficult for me in the past.  But I had resolved that I would make the best of our move last year and that I would find a community to be a part of.  This grew mostly out of the isolation I felt as a stay at home mother on a military base, which seemed amplified when Nate was deployed, as at times, he was my only lifeline.  I also think that there would be a lot less post-partum depression/psychosis if women had a supportive group of mothers surrounding them (or at the very least, someone to catch them on their way down the abyss).  So I formed a mother’s group last fall, and after a few fits and starts, it’s taking off really well.

Part of the goal of this group is to support each other through gifts of service (like child care), as well as bartering and sharing what other skills, talents and things we have.  I have particularly benefited from the child care as well as being the recipient of three pairs of pants, from a lovely friend who lost quite a bit of weight, and wanted to pass them on.  Since my wardrobe has been slowly declining – one pair of jeans has a rip, and the other a rather ill-fitting pair with an outdated pattern on one leg (at $6.99 who can complain?) – I welcomed this gift, wholeheartedly.  It made me think about donating things to Goodwill, which is nice, but then others have to pay for them.  Why not share with a friend?  Heck, give something away to a complete stranger, while we’re at it?!

And then, I can’t go without mentioning another sweet friend who has not only allowed me a plot in her garden, but willingly shared her seeds with me (as well as her knowledge of gardening), and is fine with me bringing my food scraps over to put in her compost (so long as I don’t dirty it up with bread, cheese and meat, :0 ).  So this year, I may not have a patio garden experiment (although I’d love to hear from those who do).

My friends’ acts of generosity really made me want to pay it forward.  It also made me realize that, right now, with what America is facing, community is really what is going to pull us through this mess, not millions of dollars of bailouts to car companies.  It is the encouragment of my friends when I tell them my goals of living a debt-free life, the excitement they share when I tell them how far we are, and sometimes the no-nonsense replies to my excuses for not exercising that allows me to focus on the positive instead of the negative, and when things are tough, help me through a rough spot.  This sense of community seems to be largely lost in a culture that is overly concerned with connection.  If this recession brings about anything positive, let us hope it’s community connections.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized